Show Me Your Friends...

Surround yourself with people who will 

uplift you, 

encourage you 

and 

motivate you. 

It's so easy for us to get bogged down with comfortable people. I'm talking those people we've known for ages, or we've just grown accustom to having in our close proximity. 

Sometimes we need to take a step back and look critically at these people - are they still (or ever did) serve their purpose in our lives? Are we holding on to relationships that hinder our progress? 

Everyone comes into your life for a good reason. Not everyone deserves to stay in your life. Ultimately you make the choice as to who stays and who goes. It doesn't make sense for you to chase someone down and that person constantly hurts you. Let them go. It doesn't make sense for you to keep that person around yet still as soon as they're gone you're relieved and relaxed, able to be yourself and be happy. Get rid of them. It doesn't make sense to keep that person who you keep giving your all to but won't give you a thought. Leave them down. No space on your minivan of life for that!!

Instead find people who uplift, encourage and motivate you. I've come to learn that this does not mean surround yourself with people who enable you. Having friends that enable you are just as detrimental if not worse than those that are just dead, useless weight. Have friends that are critical, smart, and look out for your best interest. Friends who aren't afraid to tell you "hey you're forming the ass now" or "No...you're not doing that because it's a stupid idea and in the end you're gonna regret you did it." Surround yourself with people who have a great vision for themselves and want to surround themselves with equally or more greatness.

In the words of the great Tess M J. "...and with that I resign."

-V

From Scratch

As time passes in any relationship it is easy for things to be routine. Even in simple friendships do things become routine. With routines come the perpetuation of bad habits. Quite often the bad habits become the focus of the relationship for both parties involved. For many marriages this is the point where spouses call it quits. Be it after 1 year of 27 years, they just can't do it anymore and call it quits.

Now I'm not marriage counselor...heck I can't even get a boyfriend but given my interactions with friends and loved ones I think when things become routine and you find yourself dwelling on those negatives stop and think. Think back to what attracted you to the other. Find a way get back to that beginning stage of exploration. Some people are going to say "But I know all there is to know about my spouse (or friend)." I hate to break it to you but people change. If your memory is a lot better than mine ask old questions and see if the answer changes. Try new things together, try old things together. Try to bring that fire back.

If after all of that you realise that it's just not going to work out at least you know you gave it your all. If it does work out then you've gotten a new leaf on life.

My two cents.

-The Empress

Who Inspires You Part 4

If you're a dancer you know what it does to you. It's a community like no other. People who play certain sports have a similar sense of community and vibe like dancers do. Although I love sports I've never truly experienced their community like I've experienced the dancing community. Through dance I have met some amazing people, people who have enriched my life, helped me grow and pushed me further.

There are a few of my dancer family members who inspire me, but there is one in particular I want to mention. She has been one of the greatest supports, fans, encourager, and non-blood sisters to me. She continually pushes me on to be my greatest. We get into a lil trouble here and there, but well behaved women rarely make history, right? She's a firecracker, sassy, classy, honest and funny. Her spunk and attitude will get her far and will continue to motivate and inspire many other people specifically women and girls to reach beyond the stars.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm talking about one of my two Canadian besties, Ms "I'm Gonna Be Famous You Know" Ashni Ramsammy! I have done a previous post on her but I felt the need to add her to this list of people who inspire me. Ashni (and her family) have always encouraged me to do what I really love to do - DANCE! She's been the one constantly reminding me that I should not settle for one when I can have it all. She is living proof to me that if you want something badly enough and believe that it should be yours it will.

So to my little radio superstar I raise a glass and say FIRE ONE!

Thanks for being so amazingly inspirational to me.

-The Empress

Who Inspires You? Part Three

There are people that come into your life for a purpose. When their time is done, they leave. You remember the lessons they taught you and live a better life.

There are other people that are in your life for years. From the day you meet them til the day you die, they remain in your life and are a good source of inspiration among other things to you.

This next inspiration to me has been in and out of my life, due to distance, for some years now. I met her in my first year of high school and ever since we've been friends. Sometimes I really wonder how she deals with me, my mood swings, impulsive behaviour and randomness. A few weeks back I sat with her and a few other people and listened to her speak. When she spoke it was like deja vu. It was so eloquent it reminded me of the our "good ole days."

My friend Gemma Edwin inspires me to be educated, knowledgeable, well versed and open minded. It's amazing the way a conversation between the two of us unfolds. A simple topic such as grocery shopping turns into a three hour conversation on capitalism, organic food, ethics and globalization. It truly is wonderful to have a friend who encourages your own growth and curiosity.

So to Gemma I raise my green bottle and say FIRE ONE!

Thanks for being such an inspiration to me!

-The Empress

Birds of a Feather...

With meaningful cliches like "Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are," out there, it only makes sense to surround yourself with people who are like-minded like you or oriented in a similar manner as you. Their energy coupled with yours is sure to get you far.

I think one of the toughest things in life is letting someone you love or care about go. Be it a family member or a friend. Be it death or just moving on with your life.

I want to touch on the latter. There are times in everyone's life when they change, they grown. When such a metamorphosis begins you want catalysts or least supporting elements with you. Dead weight isn't what you want retarding the process. Sometimes there are peple in our lives that cannot grasp the concept of this metamorphosis. They are stuck seeing the world with rose tinted glasses. How does one deal with this dead weight?

I'm the type of person who has trouble throwing things away (sometimes). I'm not a hoarder. I repear - I am not a hoarder. As far as I can remember I've never said to anyone "Never speak to me again." I prefer the "feed with a long spoon" approach where you gradually decrease the amount of time and information given to a particular person. They find other people to attach to and you continue your growth and development. I'm not saying this is the best way, I'm just saying this is what works for me. I use this method because every so often I like to check up on people, see if they've started their transformation. If they have and they want me to be a part of it, I help and support them. If they haven't, I keep my distance again.

I think with over 6 billion people in the world, there should be at least 2 billion that are not "dead weight." All 2 billion may not be oriented in your exact direction but they should be close enough for you to surround yourself with them.

Not for the "new year" but for life - surround yourself with good people.

-The Empress

Cheers To A Wonderful Weekend

I just felt the need to do a post saying THANK YOU to my amazing dance buddy Sugaray Robinson who organized a trip for us to come down to Toronto to attend The Beatdown Dance Competition. I haven't seen any of these friends since their convocation, or my birthday in June (or in Dev's case well before that I think). It was just so amazingly refreshing to reunite with them and have an awesome time telling stories, jokes, enjoying good food and amazing dancing!

I missed you guys!! And I am glad to know that time apart did not and will not equate to friendships lost. So this morning I raise my glass to you and say Cheers To A Wonderful Weekend!!

Friendship and Reciprocity

I'm not sure how many times I spoke about my expectations regarding friendship but I shall speak about it today.

I was having a conversation with a buddy of mine, Mike (not a sexual buddy for the record) and he mentioned some difficulty he was experiencing. My response to him was don't let it get to you. You tried and it's not working out. You have other things you need to focus your attention on; and furthermore, you should just surround yourself with positive people. No time for negativity. Later on that night I got into an argument and needed some moral and emotional support from a friend. Another friend of mine (Ashni) came to my rescue and gave me just what I needed whether or not I wanted it. I am so grateful for friends who are able to help me in my time of weakness; friends who can tell me what I would say to them if the tables were turned. Ashni provided a viewing of reality and the truth. Although I haven't cried enough yet (which isn't that good. I completely support and condone crying), I did cry and I have began healing.

I know that Mike would have been able to help me out the way Ashni did and again I say I am grateful to those persons I have in my life that I can lean on, count on, cry on and laugh with. These people help to make life worth living.

To all my friends, buddies, peoples I know, acquaintances, etc. Thank You for being in my life and making it worth living.

"To have a friend is to be a friend"

 Shani Vee

The Empress