Show Me Your Friends...

Surround yourself with people who will 

uplift you, 

encourage you 

and 

motivate you. 

It's so easy for us to get bogged down with comfortable people. I'm talking those people we've known for ages, or we've just grown accustom to having in our close proximity. 

Sometimes we need to take a step back and look critically at these people - are they still (or ever did) serve their purpose in our lives? Are we holding on to relationships that hinder our progress? 

Everyone comes into your life for a good reason. Not everyone deserves to stay in your life. Ultimately you make the choice as to who stays and who goes. It doesn't make sense for you to chase someone down and that person constantly hurts you. Let them go. It doesn't make sense for you to keep that person around yet still as soon as they're gone you're relieved and relaxed, able to be yourself and be happy. Get rid of them. It doesn't make sense to keep that person who you keep giving your all to but won't give you a thought. Leave them down. No space on your minivan of life for that!!

Instead find people who uplift, encourage and motivate you. I've come to learn that this does not mean surround yourself with people who enable you. Having friends that enable you are just as detrimental if not worse than those that are just dead, useless weight. Have friends that are critical, smart, and look out for your best interest. Friends who aren't afraid to tell you "hey you're forming the ass now" or "No...you're not doing that because it's a stupid idea and in the end you're gonna regret you did it." Surround yourself with people who have a great vision for themselves and want to surround themselves with equally or more greatness.

In the words of the great Tess M J. "...and with that I resign."

-V

What's The Plan

This is something I have been struggling with for many years - what do you want to be when you grow up? True some would say I am already grown, but I don't feel like it.

I was reading Steve Harvey's book "Act Like A Lady - Think Like A Man" and in the book he says there are 5 questions a woman should ask a man to know if he's a keeper or if she should grab her purse and run. The first question is where do you see yourself in 5 years (i.e. what are your short term goals)? True I was reading the book to understand how to interact with males and get one to be mine - mwhahaha!! But the book made me question myself as well. I mean how terrible would it be for me to sit grilling a guy about where he wants to be in 5 or 10 years time and I have no idea where I want to be?! He'll get the red flag and head straight for the door.

Another minor event happened to encourage the thought process on what my short and long term goals are. My friend Bee and I were having a conversation about work and we discussed where I currently work and how much I make. I don't make minimum wage - and that is a blessing. Anything about $11 is wonderful in my mind, if you get enough hours. Anyway, in the conversation Bee says she can't wait to be making $30/hr or more. The gong went off in my mind. I had never thought about making so much money despite what job I thought I would be doing. Another part of Steve's book came to mind. I'm not going to quote what part, go read it for yourself and figure it out. But on a serious note, it was another part of the book that could have been applied to myself. What am I worth? How much do I think I should be making in my desired job? This I think helps to hone in on exactly what you want to do, how you want to do it and how much you want to get for your hard work.

So of course, I sat with my pen and paper (diary in this case) and thought long, deep and hard about what I want to do, where I see myself and how long it's going to take me. Two weeks ago, if you asked me what is my dream job I would tell you I want to be an Environmental Educator and that's it. Today I am able to sift through that fluff of a title and break it down further, pin pointing exactly what I want to do.

I want to be something similar to a curriculum officer but not on the Ministry of Education side. I want to work with businesses and organisations such as a water company, energy company, landfill, etc. in connection with schools, youth groups, churches, community organisations to develop programming/activities/curriculum for the businesses and organisations that I work with to get their environmentally friendly message out there and into the community. For example, let's say I work with a water company and the country, city, whatever (depending on where I am in the world) celebrates October as the month of Water, I would create a month long programme of activities that would help persons know more about the water in the community, how to use water efficiently, how the water gets from the source to the user. The same would apply if I worked for a recycling plant and the month of June was recycling month. A month long series of activities would be created not only for students (although focusing more on the youth) to get persons involved and aware of what really happens when we recycle, don't recycle properly, what to look for in materials before buying them, etc. The title I want is Community Environmental Outreach Manager.

So that is my long term goal. I'm still working on fine tuning the short term goals to help me get that direction. That will be another post possibly.

What are some of your short and long term goals? Feel free to share with me in the comments below!

Thanks for reading!
-V

Let the planning begin

My exams ended on Monday December 19th and I said I would give myself one week to relax and the next week I will begin my school work to get ahead and plan for my future (as I normally do). Well today is Friday and I'm tired of "relaxing" which happens to be doing nothing or just cleaning in one way or the other.

I'm here more or less alone for the holidays and although I appreciate the time alone I feel like I have nothing to do. I'm sure I can catch up on major reading or watching shows I haven't been able to follow during the semester but it's not the same. I think I'm always under so much pressure that it doesn't feel normal to not be. Anyway, so apart from cleaning and getting ahead in my studies I'm also going to look at the "Where do I see myself in x years." I'm scheduled, correction: I am going to graduate in June 2012 and receive my Honours degree in August 2012 and hence I need to have some sort of an idea as to what I want to do and how I'm going to do it.

I do know that I honestly am not ready to do my Masters just yet. I know there are a number of people who are disappointed in this. Truth be told I'd like to work for about 10 years and then get my Masters. By then everyone I know would have had 2 Ph.D's but I honestly don't care. I can't make decisions for my life based on what other people are doing. I need to make decisions that I feel are best for me and that I can handle. In 5 years time I would like to enter my field of interest with a secure foot. And that is what I am going to do.

I often say there's method to my madness, and I truly believe it. Whether others can see it or believe it is another question, but that doesn't bother me. I know me and what I want well enough. I feel grounded and focused. Now is the time to apply these emotions and secure my dreams. I should have a back up plan, but not just yet. I believe this will work out.

This is just the begin of the my rise to achieve my goal. 2012 is the year when the slingshot will be stretched and released, and I shall be propelled in the right direction to live my dreams. Let nothing stop me, let nothing stop you. We're both going to achieve our dreams.

Don't wish me luck. Help me along my journey.

Best wishes
-The Empress

Mind Over Matter

I am not big on New Years celebrations. I'm one of those persons that wants to crawl into a dark hole for about two months - December and January and not think about a new year dawning and all that jazz. The primary reason for it is because twice a year it hits me, another year is dawning and another year of my life is gone, and I have nothing to show for it. I have nothing to say hey this is what I've accomplished. It weighs me down and makes me sad to know that I'm not truly happy, but happy at moments, and that I'm still not living my life, but living to please others. It bothers me that I don't feel like I'm going somewhere and I have something to do, that I'm merely floating around in this crazy world.

I usually try to hide from New Years.

But somehow, this year I don't want the stroke of midnight to catch me at home, or in my current town. No. I want to be a different place to ring in a different year. 2012 is my Champagne Year and I have dubbed it "The Year of The Empress." In 2012 it will be difficult but I will be happy. I will have a goal and I will work towards it. I will explore life and myself, and push myself to become a great woman. I will retrain myself to be mentally powerful, self motivated, hard working and fun loving. I will culture myself to not be ignorant, temperamental or short tempered. I will culture myself to be graceful, sophisticated, educated and wise. From 2012 onward I shall be responsible and build on that responsibility a kingdom of comfort for my family.

Yes, 2012 is MY year.

I'm A Big Kid Now

Part of me wants to say I wish I were a child again, or I wish I didn't have to be an adult and grow up. But I know, if I say that, it will be a lie. I do enjoy being an adult and making certain decisions. Obviously some decisions are not as simple as chocolate cake or chocolate ice cream, and some require more thought and processing.

A "friend" of mine (yes, I'm back with the quotation marks) suggested that I come to visit him. If I bought the airline ticket he would take care of accommodation and everything else during my stay. Having not spent any quality time with my "friend" I jump at the opportunity. I start looking at flights and look at my schedule to see when can I get the cheapest flight out of my available "vacations." I found one available in October and said okay I'm coming then. We're both very excited at the opportunity to be engrossed in each other completely for 10 days. When all of this happened, I was dead broke and knew I had a good pay cheque coming in the following week, so I wasn't too worried about it. As time passed, and the days went by, getting closer and closer to when I receive my wages, reality started to sink in. If reality were a person, I'd punch it right there and then, but alas it's not. The truth started to creep around me like fog coming from a harbor or smoke from burning incense. The reality is that I have other responsibilities I should take care of. I don't want to say instead of spending it on a plane ticket to go somewhere. I should be helping my dad who is my provider while at university. I mean my dad has been there for me well before university, so if I can help him out and ease his load, why not right? I also a bit of debt that if I can, I should pay off right? All these things start sinking in and I beginning to subconsciously weigh in everything. The final decision is that I am not travelling, or at least not as intended, and I am going to be responsible and adult as my "friend" put it and pay my school fees or something of that sort.

This was a difficult decision for me because I have matured and I have become more responsible mentally. If I hadn't I would have easily said I don't care, I want to travel, I want to see my "friend," I'm going. But because of this maturity and this growth the reality and needs were stacked up against the wants and although there were close, the needs won. It's tough being an adult, but even with that, I still don't think I'd want to wear baby diapers again.

And it hit me...

I have this "friend" (and yes I did use quotation marks) that really inspires me. By day he is a mild mannered mail man but by night he transforms into...okay I'm just being silly. My "friend" (yes I am going to use quotation marks every time) is a poet, singer and in my mind at least an activist. He's an artsy kinda man and he inspires me to continue exploring the arts.

I was speaking to him this morning and said "you know last night just before I fell asleep I was thinking I wish I could sing as well as you do, and could write amazing things like you do. Then I thought about us and it hit me (like a tonne of bricks) that I actually complement you. You sing and write poetry and I dance. How cool would it be if we performed together?" [that was more or less the conversation...although there are quotes that's not exactly how it went down, anyways...I digress]. It was in that moment I realised hey, I'm not half as bad as I think I am. I may not be able to write emotion evoking poetry or sing like the angels in heaven, but what I can do if paired with those talents that I don't have, can create something so amazingly beautiful that it's okay if I can't do those things. What I can do, if I do it beyond the best of my ability will carry me to be beautifully creative and an emotion evoking dancer. And I smiled (a big wide toothy smile) and felt proud of my contribution to life.

We may admire and even desire things in others. Sometimes we can work and develop such skills and/or talents that we admire, and other times we can't. We should look within ourselves and see what can add to that pot that we so desire, to create something even more amazing, even more beautiful, even more inspiring.

Be inspired. 
Go forth and inspire.

Growth

I've said "maybe I''m getting old" but I think it's more of maybe I'm changing. The things that once satisfied me no longer do. I wonder if there's something wrong with me, but it dawned on me that there's nothing wrong with change. I should embrace this change I am experiencing internally. I should explore it and find out what can satisfy me and make me feel good and happy. At this point in my life I need this change, and I need to find out what will my new coordinates be.

To keep myself busy I've start crafting again and have made a few hair fascinators and probably will continue doing them. I'm trying to think what else can I engage in, what else can I explore especially given my current income and responsibilities. I don't have an answer as yet, but until the coordinates are set I will continue to ride the wave of change.

Wish me luck.

Words From Drake

Who would have thought that I'd be quoting the rapper/singer/actor Drake in a post.

"Everybody dies, but not everybody lives."

The reason why so many people love this phrase is because there is so much power in it. We (myself included) go through our day to day activities barely living. It's a routine that we must endure, we must succumb to, a road we must travel. We often sit and dream about all the adventurous and exciting things that we could be doing if. If this were that way, if that were that way, if we had this, this, that, that, that and those two over there as well. We let the ifs of life bog us down into boring, and unsatisfying.

I've picked up my glue gun, needle and thread and began creating and experimenting. I may not become famous or get rich off of these little crafty things I let my fingers do, but it's something that keeps me entertained and not bored and frustrated with life. I turned 24 of Saturday and the Tuesday before my birthday I went to the club and had an epiphany, yes I know, an epiphany at the club? I wondered if it was just me getting older, but I no longer enjoy going to club. It's not exciting, nor is it entertaining, nor invigorating or stimulating. I go and I subconsciously force myself to have fun or rather not feel bored at that very real moment in time. Should I have to entertain myself or be silly for me to enjoy myself at the club? I'm not too convinced of that. Someone can easily say oh you're going to the wrong club and they're playing the wrong music, which very well may be true but still...maybe I need to take a break from the club scene and get into other mentally stimulating things.

Thankfully I've had a few conversations with friends about various topics that truly were mentally stimulating and it was refreshing and invigorating to experience those things. I shall challenge myself to have more of those discussions and not only on controversial topics like religion or the development of my country, but on simple topics like energy and remaining motivated. I shall challenge myself to speak to more people about important topics and not about frivolous things like what shall I wear to work tomorrow. I challenge you as well to step outside your comfort zone and having those difficult conversations that help you understand the people around you better. Don't just talk, listen. Listen to what the other person is saying and don't be so quick to judge them. 


Today we are beginning a challenge of growth, exploration and stimulation. Let the journey begin!

Fear of the Desired

One of my dearest friends from university has said many times "one day I'm going to be famous" and today I got the great news that she is well on her way to doing that (and not in a scandalous way). I couldn't have been happier for her. This is something that she has desired for quite some time and has worked towards as well. Her mission being fulfilled slowly before her but visibly has made me wonder why am I afraid to live my dreams?

I can't say I'm a genius...actually I will say I'm NOT a genius, I'm just a lady with an opinion. Some times my opinion makes sense and other times it doesn't. Through out my years I have had wonderful dreams and aspirations that I have wanted to achieve but for some reason I never seem to get there. Having my friend, who is younger than me, see an opportunity, take a risk and get through should inspire me to take the bull by the horns and go for it. But I'm not. I'm no longer striving for excellence or greatness. I'm becoming more and more content with barely getting by. A part of me wants to be that highly self-motivated person but as if that desire is a lot weaker than me being satisfied with what I'm not really doing.

How do I get back in that position of yes I can, yes I can, yes I WILL!? I give motivational pep talks to all my dearest friends but I cannot take my own advice or even take theirs and let go of comfort and take risks. I have this master plan which is bound to be breath taking when you think about it, but somehow I'm not behind it wholeheartedly. Something is wrong here, if I can create this and not have the desire to see it through to the end, blood, sweat and tears. What am I afraid of? What really am I afraid of?


I do apologize if this post is a bit all over the place, and if I've asked the same question 20 times. I'm going to try to do a reflection and get to the root of this, find a way to motivate myself and get off my bum.

Motivation

Consider the following:

When God gives you a gift what should you do with it? You should use it; you should cherish it; you should show your gratitude and appreciation for it. Your body is a gift from God, so why are you not cherishing it? Why are you not taking care of it? Your body is the temple of the Lord, so why are you not maintaining the integrity and structure of the temple? Why are you letting it become derelict and battered?

If this isn't enough to get you motivated and moving in a direction that will help you take care of yourself, what will? This is my motivation to keep moving, to not pass by my mirror, look at what I don't like and do nothing about it. This is my motivation to maintain my temple, my gift from God in the best shape possible.

Tributes to Wonderful People

I recall about four years ago when I was trying to decide whether I should leave the Caribbean and travel all the way to the icy cold north called Canada to study. A good friend of mine name Ana encouraged me to go and explore the world. Having studied in Canada herself Ana compared and contrasted the pros of living and studying in the Canada and the Caribbean. In the end I decided that I would go to Canada to study.

Three years later I am sitting here writing this blog post to kind of pay tribute to some of the most amazing people I have met in my life. I can truly say that these people are the type of people I love engaging with and cannot image how different my life would be if I did not meet them. I wish I could start listing and naming but that would not be fair because I don't want anyone to feel as if because I did not call their name I think less of them. I will however say that there are two young ladies I met, both have left Trent but I shall keep in touch with them as much as possible. These two ladies have different auras and spirits but they both are such inspirational and humble people. The level of admiration I have for them is astounding.

One of the young ladies if from Japan and it's hard for me to formulate words that can express how I feel about her. She is amazing. She is inspirational. She has this something about her that just captivates you, commands your attention, intrigues you and draws you closer to her. But this something isn't loud and full of powerful colours, it's soft and mystic, gentle and kind hearted. I wish she had her own tv show or radio show, because I like the radio more than the television. Or maybe her own blog. But whatever it is, I wish there was a way to capture her wisdom and maturity, her passion and love. She is so amazing. I wish everyone could meet her, could observe her, could appreciate her.

The other young lady graduated this year (on Thursday actually) and she has a bit more spunk than the first. She's from Thailand and again such a motivational person. She's one of those great supportive people you have in your life that encourage you to do the right thing without being overpowering. Her mind and aura is a very colourful one but still not loud. She has a curious mind and loves to find out things. Her thirst for truthful knowledge is wonderful. Extremely talented and just a firecracker of good energy, she draws you into her. I don't even know what to write. She's just amazing, and humble. Her humility amazes me and I admire it and her for it. She's one of those people that no matter how terrible I'm feeling that day, no matter what stresses are weighing me down, the sight of her face and her jovial smile lifts my spirit.

These two ladies are just two of many. Many that inspire and motivate me to become all that I can be; that remind me that I'm not a terrible person and I still have some more growing to do in humility, in personality, as a woman and as a person. I may in the end say that Trent could be a better institution academically, but one thing I can never say is that Trent does not have amazing people there.

"The friendships you make at university are those that you will keep with you for the rest of your life. These will be your maids of honour and bridesmaids at your wedding, your children's god-parents, and those people who will be there for you through the years." I certainly feel that way. And regardless of distance or placement around the world, these friendships I have made are too valuable for me to let go of. I am grateful that I have been given this opportunity to experience this.

The Power of Music

Last night I was on an amazing high. No, I did not smoke, drink, have sex or eat chocolate. I was just listening to some good music.

Growing up in the Saint Lucia I know and love Zouk music. I don't know anyone who doesn't like zouk, but I'm sure there are people who do. Anyway, last night my high came from listening to zouk and kompas for about 2 hours! Yes, yes, two hours isn't that much but two hours after finding great music on my external hard drive means the buzz of the discovery plus the ou-la-lar suave of the zouk meant that I was all smiles from ear to ear.

If you've never listened to zouk, or you can't get enough, here are a few links of some great songs. You don't have to know what they are saying for you to enjoy the music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vY610nVHnw&feature=feedlik

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fm2wAM1ppxc&feature=feedlik

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djkq6c57dUU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGh_k0Y99Oo&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fS6_RyvqigA&feature=related

It's amazing how music can evoke mood. I hope you get up and bust a move to these tracks.

Feel free to share your favourite song(s) with me. You can post links to the videos or the Name and singer in the comments.

Blessed Love!

A Look To The Future

It's pretty late right now and I should be sleeping but I managed to open my blog up and glanced to the listing on the left. And it hits me, soon I won't be seeing December 2010 it will be 2011. It is almost one full year since I started this blog. That's pretty exciting!! I mean I haven't gotten quite the response I was hoping for, but I still love my blogs, both of them yes. There are times when I feel like one gets more attention than the other, but then it works out that the other gets attention too later on.

I want to say Thank You to everyone who has supported this venture, those who enjoy reading my blog and follow my activities as well as those who randomly stumble upon it never to look at it again. Thank You to everyone who gives me feedback and say they enjoy reading it.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

I have plans to have some interesting things in 2011 on the blog. I might have new tabs or not and might just stick to using the labels (e.g. Wonderful, Baking, Money, Green, Opinion...). I am hoping to do more recreational reading, which I have started, and do a book review. I must say from now that this may not end well, but nothing beats a try.

In closing, I would like to wish for everyone a new year filled with true happiness, success, peace, understanding, respect, financial stability and honesty.

Thank You.

Things Are Looking Up!

It's raining and I'm chilling on my bed listening and relaxing with the sound of the rain on the roof. I grab my pencil and my pad and try to write a poem or something.

Pitta patta
pitta pitta
drop drop drop...

I pause; there goes the sound of? Masking my tears...? No, that's not right. Then I realise, wow Shani, for the first time ever possibly, the poems you write are happy, joyful, celebratory in nature. Most poems I have written to clear my mind and help me get over something that has happened were more solem and dark in nature. Nowadays, the little scibbles I can't finish are decorated so brightly. I never thought that day would come. I'm so happy :D YAY!!