Is It Better To Have Love And Lost It Or To Never Have Loved At All?

I'm in love. I'm in love with a man. I cannot say this man is the man of my dreams or that the situation surrounding this love is what I expected it to be. By far I never thought any of it would happen but that's besides the point. I am comfortable with the situation and that's all that matters.

The last "relationship" I was in where I fell in love was a weird one, but I was in it nonetheless. When I finally began thinking seriously that I couldn't deal with the relationship I let the then love-of-my-life know that I was going to see other people and I let him know how the endeavours went. One day, well night, for the first serious time in my life I guess, I got stood up by this guy who thought he could outsmart (old) me. Being upset and distraught I told my ex about it and his response was "Why are you even trying? You will never find anyone who will love you good as I do." I got upset, because I was not seeking love from this new guy, just companionship.

But those words haunted me for months and I wondered, am I then just suppose to settle for whatever I can get or free myself from my emotionally strain in the hope that he wasn't right? I mustered all the strength I could and said to myself for the last time that I love him but I love me more and it's over. I'm moving on.

I enjoyed my single life to the fullest and quite unexpectedly ended up in an interaction I wanted. I had my own agenda going into this interaction but 3 words shook my foundation. I Love You- he typed first. I pretended that it wasn't said. I replied and made no reference of the 3 words. Then again the words came back to me, being said to my face in an intimate setting and again I ignored it. For a few days after that I tried to remain in control of the situation and keep things separate and distant until I realised that it just could not work out if I did. So I let go of my [many] inhibitions and reminded myself that if I continued thinking it was going to fail, then it would. But if I gave it my all then regardless of the outcome it would be worth it. With that being said I dove in and loved back and to this day I don't regret a thing. Now I sit back and smile and say to my ex's spirit you were right, I won't find anyone to love me like you did...I found someone better.