He looked into my eyes and said "They don't see how much you love them Red. They just don't. You've done everything they ask you to do." And it's true. What does it take to show your parents the love you have for them? That never ending supply of love that will make you cross twice as much of hell's high waters to do half as much for them as they have done for you. Will they ever understand?
I'm not sure I can sit here this afternoon and type out my soul for any and everyone who may come across my blog or regularly check it to know exactly what I'm talking about. And I know those who know my relationships with my parents will be thinking what did they do now, but it's not even like that.
I got some disturbing information about my dad that has shaken me up. And within myself I want to try very hard to make things better in some way, form or fashion, but for the life of me I don't know how. Affection is not something I learned from him, and hence to think of reciprocating such emotion seems weird and fake to me. So what do I do to show the emotion that I do possess inside towards my dad? How do I convey the appreciation, love, admiration, respect and everything else that I feel; all the positive emotions that over weigh any negative one ever felt in my life? Do I just say the words and try to put as much conviction as possible in my voice? But how do I even know that it will be believed? It's almost like being between a rock and a hard place. This is a difficult thing for me to deal with. I just don't know what to do...
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