I'm a young lady. 24 years old. Good looking. Intelligent. Charismatic, or at least I like to think I am hahaha. I'm also single. And have been single for the majority of my life. Some days it doesn't bother me, and others I will not even hesitate to inform you it bothers every ounce of my being. Many if not all of my closest friends are single, and quite often we sit and ponder the reason for this. I'm not sure where I'm going with this post, but then again, when am I ever?
Today is Christmas and of course I announce that it's 6 months 'til my birthday. This upcoming birthday isn't just any birthday. It's what some call your Champagne Birthday, which essentially means you're turning the age of the date you were born. Not the month, just the date. I'm really wondering where I'm going with this, but still I continue to type and hope you continue to read. I'm sitting here feeling a bit sad because I want a "friend" of mine to talk to me. I know some people will be rolling their eyes and saying well if you want to talk to him, message him or call him. The thing is I have been. I hate being ignored. It doesn't sit well with me at all. Okay, I'm not going to get into this here and right now. Moving on...
What I'm trying to get at is, I've been holding on to a dream and holding out on life because of one person. Because of one person that I know is not doing the same thing, and quite frankly I can't blame him. It's difficult knowing that my entire life can happen and when I'm 60 I reconnect with this person because we were meant to be at that time. Something about this idea scares me. I am admitting it. It scares me to not know when we will connect and connect properly. The unknown of not being able to just live and just do whatever and dive head first into situations and swim out of them easily or barely making it out of the shark's jaw and then coming out of the water into his arms bother me. But I know I can't hold on and stop living because of this fear or this unknown. I have to let go and live. So maybe this is a declaration of some sort; of me saying that I'm not waiting for you or waiting for the right time to come. I'm dancing to the music playing and when the song changes and it's the right time, you will ask to have the dance and we shall dance the night away.
I'm not sure this makes any sense at all. But I choose to live.
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