He looked into my eyes and said "They don't see how much you love them Red. They just don't. You've done everything they ask you to do." And it's true. What does it take to show your parents the love you have for them? That never ending supply of love that will make you cross twice as much of hell's high waters to do half as much for them as they have done for you. Will they ever understand?
I'm not sure I can sit here this afternoon and type out my soul for any and everyone who may come across my blog or regularly check it to know exactly what I'm talking about. And I know those who know my relationships with my parents will be thinking what did they do now, but it's not even like that.
I got some disturbing information about my dad that has shaken me up. And within myself I want to try very hard to make things better in some way, form or fashion, but for the life of me I don't know how. Affection is not something I learned from him, and hence to think of reciprocating such emotion seems weird and fake to me. So what do I do to show the emotion that I do possess inside towards my dad? How do I convey the appreciation, love, admiration, respect and everything else that I feel; all the positive emotions that over weigh any negative one ever felt in my life? Do I just say the words and try to put as much conviction as possible in my voice? But how do I even know that it will be believed? It's almost like being between a rock and a hard place. This is a difficult thing for me to deal with. I just don't know what to do...
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
10 Attitudes of Successful Workers
1. I am in charge of my destiny.
If you spend your entire career waiting for something exciting to come to you, you will be waiting a long time. Successful professionals go out and make good things happen. So commit yourself to thinking about your career in an entirely different way. You will make it to the top, and you are in charge of making it happen.
2. Anything is possible.
Think that there is no way you will ever be at the vice-president level? Then you definitely won't. Remember: If you think you can't, you probably won't. Adopt the attitude of The Little Engine That Could -- "I think I can."
3. No task is too small to do well.
You never know when you are going to be noticed. That is one reason to take pride in your work -- all of it. One public relations executive in Chicago said that her first task in the PR department of a ballet company was reorganizing the supply closet. She tackled the project with gusto and was immediately noticed for her hard work and attention to detail. Remember this the next time you feel like slacking because you are working on a menial task.
4. Everyone is a potential key contact.
While you do need to be aggressive in the workplace, you can also go far by being nice to those around you. Do you think it's unimportant to establish a good rapport with your boss's secretary? Well, just try getting your meeting squeezed onto the schedule when you really need it. Be courteous to those around you -- you never know when your past contacts will play a role in your future.
5. I was made to do this job... and the one above me.
If you spend your days feeling like you are not cut out to do the work you are responsible for, your performance will suffer. Your job may not be the perfect fit, but successful workers act like they are in their dream job, no matter where they are.
6. It's not just what I know, but who I know.
Successful workers understand the importance of networking, both in and out of the office. You need to proactively establish professional contacts. Invite a colleague out to lunch. Go to the after-work happy hour. Join your professional association. Do your part to establish a networking path for your future.
7. What else can I do?
Since you are in charge of your destiny, it's your job to look for ways to improve your professional self. Volunteer to take on an extra project. Learn a new skill that will make you more marketable. Stay late to help your co-workers. Successful workers don't just complete the job and sign out -- they look for additional ways to make their mark.
8. Failure will help pave the way to my success.
While it seems like some people never experience setbacks, the truth is everyone fails from time to time. The difference between successful and unsuccessful people is how they deal with failure. Those who find success are the ones who learn from mistakes and move on.
9. I am my own biggest fan.
Have you been waiting for someone in the office to recognize your talents and efforts? Maybe it's time you start tooting your own horn. Step up and talk about your accomplishments and what you have done for the company. Successful workers know how to point out their achievements without sounding boastful.
10. My opportunity monitor is never turned off.
Yes, there will be days when you will want to just be happy with the status quo. But remember that successful workers are always on the lookout for opportunities to improve. Keep your eyes, ears and your mind open to new opportunities -- you never know when you will discover the one that will change the course of your career!
If you spend your entire career waiting for something exciting to come to you, you will be waiting a long time. Successful professionals go out and make good things happen. So commit yourself to thinking about your career in an entirely different way. You will make it to the top, and you are in charge of making it happen.
2. Anything is possible.
Think that there is no way you will ever be at the vice-president level? Then you definitely won't. Remember: If you think you can't, you probably won't. Adopt the attitude of The Little Engine That Could -- "I think I can."
3. No task is too small to do well.
You never know when you are going to be noticed. That is one reason to take pride in your work -- all of it. One public relations executive in Chicago said that her first task in the PR department of a ballet company was reorganizing the supply closet. She tackled the project with gusto and was immediately noticed for her hard work and attention to detail. Remember this the next time you feel like slacking because you are working on a menial task.
4. Everyone is a potential key contact.
While you do need to be aggressive in the workplace, you can also go far by being nice to those around you. Do you think it's unimportant to establish a good rapport with your boss's secretary? Well, just try getting your meeting squeezed onto the schedule when you really need it. Be courteous to those around you -- you never know when your past contacts will play a role in your future.
5. I was made to do this job... and the one above me.
If you spend your days feeling like you are not cut out to do the work you are responsible for, your performance will suffer. Your job may not be the perfect fit, but successful workers act like they are in their dream job, no matter where they are.
6. It's not just what I know, but who I know.
Successful workers understand the importance of networking, both in and out of the office. You need to proactively establish professional contacts. Invite a colleague out to lunch. Go to the after-work happy hour. Join your professional association. Do your part to establish a networking path for your future.
7. What else can I do?
Since you are in charge of your destiny, it's your job to look for ways to improve your professional self. Volunteer to take on an extra project. Learn a new skill that will make you more marketable. Stay late to help your co-workers. Successful workers don't just complete the job and sign out -- they look for additional ways to make their mark.
8. Failure will help pave the way to my success.
While it seems like some people never experience setbacks, the truth is everyone fails from time to time. The difference between successful and unsuccessful people is how they deal with failure. Those who find success are the ones who learn from mistakes and move on.
9. I am my own biggest fan.
Have you been waiting for someone in the office to recognize your talents and efforts? Maybe it's time you start tooting your own horn. Step up and talk about your accomplishments and what you have done for the company. Successful workers know how to point out their achievements without sounding boastful.
10. My opportunity monitor is never turned off.
Yes, there will be days when you will want to just be happy with the status quo. But remember that successful workers are always on the lookout for opportunities to improve. Keep your eyes, ears and your mind open to new opportunities -- you never know when you will discover the one that will change the course of your career!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Safe Sex
Once again, articles from the ESSENCE Magazine have opened my eyes and I'd like to share the information with you in the hopes that you'll share it and it keeps spreading.
Five Common Condon Errors:
1. Using It Repeatedly: Change them after every sex act. [This was news to me] You can't switch from oral sex to penile-vaginal sex using the same condom as it increases the potential for breakage.
2. Putting It On Late: Pregnancy and disease can occur easily with the amount of semen released during pre-ejaculation.
3. Doubling Up: Common mistake done by many. The belief is that it's extra protection, when in fact the friction between two condoms often leads to rupturing. And this applies not only for two male condoms, but a male and a female or even two females.
4. Missing Headroom: Space must be left at the tip to catch semen.
5. Leaving It On After Sex: Semen is more prone to seeping out of the condom once the penis is soft.
COMMON "SAFE SEX" MISTAKES
Some things people believe are part of a safe sex regime...but aren't.
Oral Sex. It's true you won't get pregnant but you can become infected with HIV and other STIs if you don't use a condom. That's what flavoured condoms were made for if I'm not mistaken.
Withdrawal Method. It is the least effective method of birth control and does not protect against STIs.
Anal Sex. It can be more dangerous than vaginal sex without a condom since abrasions are more common due to no natural lubrication.
To conclude, a few thoughts of my own. Whether you're a man or woman, don't take any chances. Use a condom, be faithful, get tested together (and if you're in relationship, I believe that you get tested together and regularly...once a year, every 6 months, whenever). Take control of your life and your health. Be firm and stick to your principles. Afterall, you only have one life to live.
Five Common Condon Errors:
1. Using It Repeatedly: Change them after every sex act. [This was news to me] You can't switch from oral sex to penile-vaginal sex using the same condom as it increases the potential for breakage.
2. Putting It On Late: Pregnancy and disease can occur easily with the amount of semen released during pre-ejaculation.
3. Doubling Up: Common mistake done by many. The belief is that it's extra protection, when in fact the friction between two condoms often leads to rupturing. And this applies not only for two male condoms, but a male and a female or even two females.
4. Missing Headroom: Space must be left at the tip to catch semen.
5. Leaving It On After Sex: Semen is more prone to seeping out of the condom once the penis is soft.
COMMON "SAFE SEX" MISTAKES
Some things people believe are part of a safe sex regime...but aren't.
Oral Sex. It's true you won't get pregnant but you can become infected with HIV and other STIs if you don't use a condom. That's what flavoured condoms were made for if I'm not mistaken.
Withdrawal Method. It is the least effective method of birth control and does not protect against STIs.
Anal Sex. It can be more dangerous than vaginal sex without a condom since abrasions are more common due to no natural lubrication.
To conclude, a few thoughts of my own. Whether you're a man or woman, don't take any chances. Use a condom, be faithful, get tested together (and if you're in relationship, I believe that you get tested together and regularly...once a year, every 6 months, whenever). Take control of your life and your health. Be firm and stick to your principles. Afterall, you only have one life to live.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Surprises
There's just something amazing about a surprise. I really love and appreciate surprises. It might be the fact that I didn't have to hint at or blatantly say something for it to be done, or the fact that someone cared enough to think of someting I'd like and do it just for me. Surprises make you feel special, wanted, loved, cared about...and who doesn't want that?
And for the record, not all surprises are grande in gesture. Personally, some of the best surprises are the simple ones. Surprise me with a flower, a poem, a simple note saying "Have a good day today" or "I Love You" or "Thought of you today". Or you can offer to do something for me when I least expect it. Those are the types of surprises I love the most.
And for the record, not all surprises are grande in gesture. Personally, some of the best surprises are the simple ones. Surprise me with a flower, a poem, a simple note saying "Have a good day today" or "I Love You" or "Thought of you today". Or you can offer to do something for me when I least expect it. Those are the types of surprises I love the most.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Inspirational Message with the touch of Chocolate
These days chocolate is being lauded for many newly discovered benefits. Dermatologists have found that applying chocolate topically renews and moisturises the skin, making us look younger and more beautiful. Scientists are excitedly studying chocoalte's ingredient theobromine as a promising cough surpressant that seems to work better than traditional elixirs, without any of the side effets. Perhaps most striking is the discovery that dark chocolate is packed with flavenoids, an antioxidant that protects against cardiovascular disease.
Of Course, chocolate lovers have always sworn by chocolate's other benefits to the heart. Women especially turn to chocolate regularly for comfort and consolation. Whether it's the rich, sweet tast or some chemical that influences our emotions, chocolate makes us feel better when we're sad or hurting.
All of us can be like chocolate. We can't moisturise a friend's skin or stop her cough, but we can soothe her heart. We can be a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, a word of comfort. We don't have to have all the answers. All it takes is a heart that cares and firm commitment to stay, even when we'd rather run the other way.
Funny thing about being there for someone at her time of greatest need: when we comfort and bless another, we invariably feel blessed and encouraged ourselves. Won't you be chocolate to someone who needs consolation today?
Taken from Hugs for Chocolate Lovers
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Things Are Looking Up!
It's raining and I'm chilling on my bed listening and relaxing with the sound of the rain on the roof. I grab my pencil and my pad and try to write a poem or something.
Pitta patta
pitta pitta
drop drop drop...
I pause; there goes the sound of? Masking my tears...? No, that's not right. Then I realise, wow Shani, for the first time ever possibly, the poems you write are happy, joyful, celebratory in nature. Most poems I have written to clear my mind and help me get over something that has happened were more solem and dark in nature. Nowadays, the little scibbles I can't finish are decorated so brightly. I never thought that day would come. I'm so happy :D YAY!!
Pitta patta
pitta pitta
drop drop drop...
I pause; there goes the sound of? Masking my tears...? No, that's not right. Then I realise, wow Shani, for the first time ever possibly, the poems you write are happy, joyful, celebratory in nature. Most poems I have written to clear my mind and help me get over something that has happened were more solem and dark in nature. Nowadays, the little scibbles I can't finish are decorated so brightly. I never thought that day would come. I'm so happy :D YAY!!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Qpid - Leave Me Alone (St.Lucia Carnival 2010)
I just love this song. Had! Had to share it with you. I strongly believe this one is a winner. Nananananana!! Nothing sweeter than Lucian Carnival :D!!!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
A Gentle Reminder
Haha C, this is especially for you.
My beloved friend Courtney and I were speaking this evening about singing (among other things). I told C I'm sure she sings better than I do, heck I'm sure a lot of people sing better than I do most times lol. It was then she reminded me of something I said two years ago..."God did not give me a voice to sing, he gave me feet to dance" which is definitely something I would say. I like to say people think of it as the glass being half empty or half full, where as I say amen there's something to drink. Be grateful for what you have, and even if you don't have the best version of something enjoy it to.
I would also like to say sorry for all the rain...I have been singing a lot lately LOL.
My beloved friend Courtney and I were speaking this evening about singing (among other things). I told C I'm sure she sings better than I do, heck I'm sure a lot of people sing better than I do most times lol. It was then she reminded me of something I said two years ago..."God did not give me a voice to sing, he gave me feet to dance" which is definitely something I would say. I like to say people think of it as the glass being half empty or half full, where as I say amen there's something to drink. Be grateful for what you have, and even if you don't have the best version of something enjoy it to.
I would also like to say sorry for all the rain...I have been singing a lot lately LOL.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Is It Better To Have Love And Lost It Or To Never Have Loved At All?
I'm in love. I'm in love with a man. I cannot say this man is the man of my dreams or that the situation surrounding this love is what I expected it to be. By far I never thought any of it would happen but that's besides the point. I am comfortable with the situation and that's all that matters.
The last "relationship" I was in where I fell in love was a weird one, but I was in it nonetheless. When I finally began thinking seriously that I couldn't deal with the relationship I let the then love-of-my-life know that I was going to see other people and I let him know how the endeavours went. One day, well night, for the first serious time in my life I guess, I got stood up by this guy who thought he could outsmart (old) me. Being upset and distraught I told my ex about it and his response was "Why are you even trying? You will never find anyone who will love you good as I do." I got upset, because I was not seeking love from this new guy, just companionship.
But those words haunted me for months and I wondered, am I then just suppose to settle for whatever I can get or free myself from my emotionally strain in the hope that he wasn't right? I mustered all the strength I could and said to myself for the last time that I love him but I love me more and it's over. I'm moving on.
I enjoyed my single life to the fullest and quite unexpectedly ended up in an interaction I wanted. I had my own agenda going into this interaction but 3 words shook my foundation. I Love You- he typed first. I pretended that it wasn't said. I replied and made no reference of the 3 words. Then again the words came back to me, being said to my face in an intimate setting and again I ignored it. For a few days after that I tried to remain in control of the situation and keep things separate and distant until I realised that it just could not work out if I did. So I let go of my [many] inhibitions and reminded myself that if I continued thinking it was going to fail, then it would. But if I gave it my all then regardless of the outcome it would be worth it. With that being said I dove in and loved back and to this day I don't regret a thing. Now I sit back and smile and say to my ex's spirit you were right, I won't find anyone to love me like you did...I found someone better.
The last "relationship" I was in where I fell in love was a weird one, but I was in it nonetheless. When I finally began thinking seriously that I couldn't deal with the relationship I let the then love-of-my-life know that I was going to see other people and I let him know how the endeavours went. One day, well night, for the first serious time in my life I guess, I got stood up by this guy who thought he could outsmart (old) me. Being upset and distraught I told my ex about it and his response was "Why are you even trying? You will never find anyone who will love you good as I do." I got upset, because I was not seeking love from this new guy, just companionship.
But those words haunted me for months and I wondered, am I then just suppose to settle for whatever I can get or free myself from my emotionally strain in the hope that he wasn't right? I mustered all the strength I could and said to myself for the last time that I love him but I love me more and it's over. I'm moving on.
I enjoyed my single life to the fullest and quite unexpectedly ended up in an interaction I wanted. I had my own agenda going into this interaction but 3 words shook my foundation. I Love You- he typed first. I pretended that it wasn't said. I replied and made no reference of the 3 words. Then again the words came back to me, being said to my face in an intimate setting and again I ignored it. For a few days after that I tried to remain in control of the situation and keep things separate and distant until I realised that it just could not work out if I did. So I let go of my [many] inhibitions and reminded myself that if I continued thinking it was going to fail, then it would. But if I gave it my all then regardless of the outcome it would be worth it. With that being said I dove in and loved back and to this day I don't regret a thing. Now I sit back and smile and say to my ex's spirit you were right, I won't find anyone to love me like you did...I found someone better.
:-)
I really couldn't help but share my satisfaction and joy with everyone. I am so happy with how my blog has turned out. When I started it a few months ago, never did I think it would be so cool. Even if there may be people who don't like it, I really don't care. I LOVE my blog and that's all that matters. And to those of you who adore it as much as I do, THANK YOU!!!!. A massive thanks to my 4 followers (I'm the 5th one lol) I really appreciate your trust and support in my opinion and the contents of my mind.
From my entire heart, mind and being Thank You.
From my entire heart, mind and being Thank You.
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