Spirit

Regrets.

We should live without them,
but I can't help feeling like I've made mistakes
mistakes that I shouldn't have made,
things I should have done.

Maybe I should have risked it all
my sanity, time, energy, heart and soul
and pursued those dreams,
done what I loved,
what I wanted to do.

I keep moving forward in partial happiness.
Money temporarily satisfies me
but it doesn't make me happy.
I search for happiness in my "young" age.

I close my eyes while the music plays and even before the lids kiss I envision myself skipping along a stage.
Why did I give it up?
Why didn't I try harder?
I feel like these thoughts of "what am I doing here? why am I doing this? does this make me happy?" runs through my mind too many times.
So many times that I can't think of anything else but the possibility.
The what ifs.

What if I were happy?